One of those things I learned a long time ago, in this program, was in the Tenth Step. I also found it in the Serenity Prayer. And that was something I could never get over. And what was that? Negative emotions.
Early on my first sponsor went back out and drank again based on a resentment he had. He died right after that. So did another ten year alcoholic, who drank and also died because of a resentment. That was a wake up call for me. But the best results did not happen overnight. Like the program tells us, time takes time.
However, my old sponsor, the second, who came around right away and took over, woke me up to what I desperately needed. The truth. Something I lacked. He opened my mind and eventually my heart. And that began with the Second Step. My introduction to this spiritual way of life. And it also introduced me to my Higher Power. And so, even though it did take time, I stuck with it, aided by my sponsor and those old timers in here. And I did change.
I learned, for instance, that I needed not to believe that I could stay sober forever. I found out that that could lead to forgetting I needed to stay sober. I found out that I needed to stay sober one day at a time.
And I do. So grateful for that, which focuses me on staying sober each and everyday.
But eventually I also learned that I had to rid myself of being weighed down and in danger of drinking again, because of resentments. And that happened for me in the Ninth Step. That’s when I went through a restoration to sanity and the release for me of all my resentments. They just vanished. And then, as time went on, the Tenth Step presented the spiritual axiom, that if I was disturbed it was my problem and not that of anyone else. It’s up to me to rid myself of my own problems. And that’s where my Higher Power and the people in here can help me to change.
Anyway, I have been thinking about this for a while and I find it working each and everyday. I also think it goes back to that time, when I heard this spiritual man telling us that we had to learn to persevere in Hope, Faith, and Love. That also began to come into my life a long time ago. Compassion has been there with me for a long time. Makes me grateful.
So each and everyday I have to pray and meditate to stay sober today. That includes what I was thinking about today. Peace is present at the beginning of each day. It’s part of what helps me to stay sober today.
And that’s why I always need to be able to give thanks to my Higher Power, and those old timers. Plus all these people I know today, who have helped me to continue to change and practice this Serenity Prayer.