Today I took time to stop and spend some moments reading and studying working with others in the BB. A great reminder, once again, of why I am here. What it is I need to do. Freely giving what was so freely given to me.
I can remember my old sponsor and what he did to show me what it is I need to do. It’s all about staying sober. Giving away what was given to me over and over again. I learned I had to do what it is I need to do, if I want to continue to stay sober,
And it’s not always the new person I need to work with, Learning to do what my sponsor did for me. I never want to forget that. I discovered that it was going to take a lot of time for me to be able to put this program into action, if I wanted to stay sober. Nothing happens overnight in this program. Even after all this time I still can find myself stumbling. I know the BB told me that this would happen to us. We’re still human, and alcoholics. I need to be able to talk to old timers, who can help me to continue to grow along spiritual lines.
I know that all I can do is talk to a new person and hopefully help them to become willing to not to drink a day at a time and surrender to the First Step, which opens the door for us in here. Not always easy. I only know how it worked for me. I had to suffer so much inner pain. Despair. And willing to kill myself rather than go on drinking. And then I learned that I needed hope, which was given to me. I took that hope and surrendered. I prayed to the God of my understanding, and begged to stop drinking and living the life I was living. I needed to change. And the miracle was that the desire to drink was lifted from me.
This is what I need to give to others, who like myself and everyone in here are alcoholics, and need to stop drinking. That happens for us, when we surrender one hundred percent. Sometimes that takes time and help. However I know a lot of others like myself, who were in great pain and headed toward death, and were able to completely willing to stop drinking with the help of a Higher Power, and the program itself. But we all have the problems of what alcohol did to us and our lives, which we bring in here and have to begin to learn to change.
I was taught and shown how I need to share what I have to the new person. I know that I don’t have to give the spiritual way of life I have been given and grown into. I only have to help them to become willing to change and get sober. To put the alcohol down and come to meetings and begin to listen. Over time we learn what it is we need to do to stay sober. But for now, we need to learn how to surrender. At least to stop drinking a day at a time and go to meetings and begin to listen. Not always to me, but others like me.
Anyway, I just needed to stop and remind myself why I’m here. I’m here to stay sober and help others, who not only need this, but become willing to do it. And I have to remember that I’m just who I am and nothing else. Doesn’t always work. But in the end I continue to learn to do what I need to do. To stay sober a day at a time.
All this reminds me of how blessed I have been. I need to be grateful and give thanks to my Higher Power, this program, and all the people in here, who have helped me stay sober each and every day.