I went to a meeting today, which reminded me of my old sponsor and those old timers in here. That was because the group was going through the negative emotions and complaining about their being drawn into all those negative thoughts, which at one time ran my life, like anger and resentments, grief, depression, hatred, and on and on.
My old sponsor helped me by calling out what was wrong with me. He said, “You don’t know that you don’t know. You only think you do.” That hit me right between my eyes. He was absolutely right, and I hadn’t ever taken the time to stop and think about this. My first sponsor suffered what could have taken me out. He went out and drank again because of a resentment, and he died.
It was he and some of those old timers who were able to show me how my negative emotions had been running my drinking life for so many years. I was fortunate that I survived and was able to get sober and wanted to change my life. Now I could, with the help of my Higher Power and all those old sober alcoholics, who had suffered the same way back then.
They helped me to change over time. Over a long, long time. A very long time, which helped me to keep my mouth shut, and to strive to keep on changing.
I thought about this, as they went on for the most part, and decided not to speak out about this, because I was sure that they were emotionally too upset to listen. I know that I was able to talk to others after the meeting, who had heard me talk about this same thing to them before, and who had turned out to be willing to practice what I had learned, and were striving to change from the negative into the positive way of thinking and living to help them also to stay sober.
Anyway I have been blessed to be able to share this with others over time in here, and will continue to share the same with more alcoholics like myself. I am so grateful to be able to do this, like my old sponsor and others. How much I owe for my introduction to the Second Step, which opened the door to this alcoholic to the spiritual way of life, and my being able to surrender to my Higher Power and grow in a relationship with Him. I owe my Higher Power so much gratitude for all I have been able to do to change, and receive these spiritual gifts.