Quite a few of us talked about the need to place our concentration on working this program into the helpful hands of a long term sober alcoholic, who can help direct us into working this program. I know I can never forget my old sponsor, who woke me up, when he said to me that I didn’t know that I didn’t know. I only thought I did. I suddenly realized that my alcoholic mind had taken charge of me. I needed to ask for help and to do what I would be directed to do by those who were living a sober way of living, which had saved them from going back to drinking again.
Although a number of the Steps were talked about, my thought went right back to that First Step. The first part of that Step talked about our admitting we were powerless over alcohol…But it was the second part of that Step, which could continue to rule our lives. It states that our lives had become unmanageable. And no matter how many Steps we worked along the way, without the help of directions from old timers, we could probably be back there without knowing it. And that could lead to deep trouble.
I learned from my old sponsor and those old timers in here that, no matter how well I might be working these Steps, I would have to become aware that saint hood was not part of our sobriety. No matter what, we all are still human alcoholics. And that means that no matter how well we are working toward spiritual growth we are going to end up often tripping and our stumbling and not being aware of what is really happening to us.
This has often caused some of us to lose our sobriety and end up drinking again. We need help and direction. And we need to have the humility to be able to stop, pray, and ask for the help we need. And that means we have to learn to have the humility we need to step back and ask for help.
Anyway I’m glad that I could mention this, as were a few others. I had witnessed what the lack of knowledge had done to some, who went back out, and often some who died.
I am grateful for all the help I have been given. Those who helped me to give up and step back, willing to ask for help. This has taught me gratitude to all those who, over time in here, have given me the help I need to continue to stay sober and to grow along spiritual lines. I know from what I learned and experienced that I can still bumble, and tumble until the end of my life. Like I said, I’m still human. And I am grateful to all those, who have helped me. But I also know I have to be open to my Higher Power for all of this. And that definitely makes me grateful.