When talking about God as we understand Him, a friend of ours refers to Him as a God of his misunderstanding. I’m sure his concept will change over time. I know mine has. But I’ve thought about his “definition” and have come to the conclusion that he might be right and I could be wrong. After all, since I have tried to get an open mind (struggled is a better word), I have gone through a number of phases in “understanding”…or misunderstanding.
“As long as it makes sense to him…” That’s what Bill said about any prospect and their idea of their Higher Power. The point was that we were not to force our ideas on him or her. They are free to come to their own conclusions. Ebby said to Bill, who had such animosity toward religion, that why didn’t he make his own choice of what he wanted to believe in. He knew what Bill came to believe, that he had to get a power greater than himself i! n order to recover.
Bill, on the other hand, tells us that he reached a point, where he began to suffer from spiritual pride and attempted to shove his version of a Higher Power down peoples’ throats. He believed people had to believe what he believed. He says of himself that he did a lot of harm, because he drove people away from the program. Maybe he’s not alone in this, because a lot of us have a tendency to believe we’re right and others need our brand of spirituality. We want to guide them into our way of thinking.
“Our way of thinking”. What’s that? It’s certainly not the message. The message is clear and simple. Stop drinking, clean house, and trust in God. There is nothing more objectionable at a meeting, than to hear a member loudly declare a specific description of his idea of who God is or isn’t. What is a new member to think, when someone does that? It often makes people feel that they are in a place that many sought to avoid over the years. Had Ebby done this to Bill, we probably wouldn’t be here ourselves, because he might never have recovered. We have a former atheist to thank for the genius of insisting that Bill insert the words “as we understood Him”.
I know that I’m covering “old” ground here. It’s just that I began to think about my friend and what he sometimes says at meetings. “The God of my misunderstanding”. He says that he states this, because he doesn’t understand God. He says that if he did, he would probably be on the same level as God. He believes that we can’t understand and just must accept. He believes what the BB tells us; that either God is or He isn’t. He’s either everything or He’s nothing. We make a choice. We take that leap of faith. Whatever we choose it’s the one that saves ! us from this dreadful disease.
And, I guess that’s it. I am thinking about what really got me into this program and kept me here. The idea about the difference between religion and spirituality. Had we been forced to accept some creed, most of us would have fallen by the wayside. The idea that we could have a personal relationship with whatever force we wanted is the saving grace. In the end, it’s probably the same God, but it’s ours. Literally “ours”; the “we” of the program. We will come to know a new freedom and a new happiness…the promises. Rarely have we seen a person fail…
I guess this is all about gratitude. I can’t help but be grateful for the program that rescued me from the brink of an alcoholic death. I can’t help but be grateful that there was a program in place, waiting for someone like me. I can’t help but be grateful, because on m! y own I could have never conceived of an solution like this. Never in a million years. I am grateful for those who went before and struggled to get this program off the ground. Those men and women, who were often alone at the beginning, seeking others like us, so that they could stay sober.
I, like so many others, only had to walk through the doors. And all I’m asked to do is to give it away to others just like me. Everyday I can depend, not only on those around me, but am given the power to carry it out by the God of my understanding. All I have to do is go to a meeting and sit among us.
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