In the ninth step in the 12&12, it begins with the word “prudence”. That word has stuck in my mind since I first saw it. Prudence. A long time ago it was called the “Queen of Virtues”. Lofty title.
Back in the “old” days, there was a movie entitled “Prudence and the Pill”. David Niven and Deborah Kerr. (Who?) Well, I know. She’s 80ish and he died of Alzheimers. She was beautiful and he a debonair Brit. Anyway, Prudence was once a given name like Hope and Charity. Also virtues.
I always assumed that I “knew” what prudence meant. After all I was “smart” and had and education and a degree in English Lit. But, I never looked it up. Like I never read the directions to anything, until I came to AA.
So, today I finally pulled the old Webster’s out and looked it up. After reading a number of meanings, I finally came to the one that probably made Bill put this into the book. Caution or circumspection as to the danger or risk.
That certainly describes the elements in the ninth step. After all, we’re being called upon to step out into the public forum and attempt to right the wrongs of the past. That is taking a risk and could certainly open the door to some danger. I remember one of our members, back some 30 odd years or so, who was relatively new. Without any guidance and filled with guilt, he went to a house of someone he had known to attempt to make amends. He went up to the door and knocked and a woman answered. While he was talking to her through the screen door (she wouldn’t open the door, because she knew him), her husband sneaked around the house, having spotted him coming up the steps, and came up behind him and layed him out with a baseball bat. He hadn’t looked the word prudence up either.
Bill, who was a wordsmith, knew what he was talking about. The BB and especially the 12&12 takes great pains to assist and guide us through the minefield of this and all the other steps, so that we can finally achieve the spiritual awakening promised us from the beginning. That transforming solution to our problem with alcohol and the unmanageability of our lives. The introduction to a Higher Power, who could remove the relentless obsession to alchohol and help us solve our problem of living.
When I finally got to this step, having done the previous eight, I was forced to talk it over with my sponsor and his wife, who also had a lot of time and experience in the program. I want to digress for a moment. One of the more popular sayings in this program, especially today, is that the first man up that day, is the most sober. I want to tell you that I would no more ask that person what to do with this step especially, unless he had a lot of time and experience under his belt than I did. There’s a lot to be said for the old timers in this program. They’ve seen and experienced it all. That guy, who got up early, may only have one day. Even if he had a year or ten, I would hesitate to go to him or her.
Dr. Bob, we know from AA history, made his amends on the first day of his sobriety. How come he coud do this without direction and why could he accomplish this, when we’re cautioned to take our time? Because he had to.
There was no program at that time. He and Bill were desperate. All they had was each other. Bob had to throw caution to the wind and trust in God that he was doing the right thing. To my way of thinking, it was miraculous.
Why bring this up all of a sudden? Well, I was thinking about sobriety and how I got to this point in time. When I came in I only had one thing on my mind; how to stop drinking and save my life. Growing along spiritual lines was not on the agenda. But, once I found that this was the path, I had to muster up all the courage and willingness I could to do what was asked of me. Prudence was not on the list until I got to it. And even then, I didn’t know what I was doing. Good thing I asked for help from those with experience.