I remember going to a meeting with you and Vince in Northern Virginia. At that meeting a man said (and he was serious) that he wanted to discuss his inner tennis player. He was convinced that meetings were therapy sessions and was pretty upset with the three of us, plus Mike E., who was there, too, because we wanted to talk about the solution; recovery from alcoholism. Imagine.
I think over time groups, just like individuals, have a tendency to become complacent. The leader usually asks if anyone is thinking about a drink and there’s this dull, blank silence and the same for the expression on people’s faces. In discussion meetings the next thing is has anyone got a topic? I believe there is a rush to spice things up. Who wants to talk about the same old things over and over again? We’ve heard it before. Why not talk about our problem with our dead cat or our marital difficulties? Or, like the man above, our inner tennis player?
Today, at the noon meeting, someone asked to talk about the 5th tradition. And, someone else asked to talk about the first step. Wow! I remember my sponsor, Tom, telling me one time that he was but the hand of hope; the group was the hand of help. He always told me to take the new man or those I sponsored and turn them over to the group. To hear what? About our dead cat, or difficulties in relationships, or our inner tennis player? What do alcoholics know about any of these things? The last people I would want advice from on relationships would be a bunch of peoople, who, by all that’s holy, haven’t got a clue, but who are perfectly willing to dive right in.
Thank God, the 5th tradition tells us just what we do know about and what we don’t. It says we only know one thing well and that’s about alcohol. Not only that, it tells us that there is a solution to our alcohol problem and that’s what the group is responsible to carry as a message to the sick and suffering alcoholic.
Now there’s an idea. Why not talk about alcohol in a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous? How about talking about the steps, which can lead us out of the muck and mire we were sunk in? How about talking about how this program saved our lives? How about talking about our drinking histories, so that the new man or woman can identify with what we’re discussing? And then telling them about our experiences in finding the solution? How about giving them some hope that they can and will find a way out?
I couldn’t help but think today about what would have happened, if I had come into my first meeting and everyone was talking about nothing but a spiritual awakening. That’s good. But to someone like me, who was desperate to stop drinking, I would have left dissapointed and probably never have come back. I would have thought I had stumbled in on a revival meeting. After all, my problem was alcohol.
Fortunately, at my first meeting I heard people talking about their experiences with drinking and I could identify. I knew these people knew about what it was like to be a drunk. But, not only that, they then told me that they had recovered and that there was a solution to my problem. They were there to help me save my life. And then they began to tell me how to do that. I had lost hope and they restored me to hope.
I thank God for the genius of the founders to give us guidelines to keep us on track.