It is of constant concern to me that I struggle to keep the 11th step in the forefront of my mind. I have talked to a number of members, who seem to have the same problem. “Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, seeking only knowledge of his will for us and the power to carry that out.” That’s a lot. But, when I stop and think about it, it’s not all that big. It’s a matter of just making time and doing it.
Back years ago, I remember one old timer telling us that he found meetings to be just that. He said all his meetings were a meditation for him. Everyday at meetings, I try to be aware of this, but sometimes I fail to maintain anything close to that.
Everyday, I have to force myself to focus and attempt to just do it. One way, is this that I am doing right now:
Write and bring my mind into concentrating on what I am doing. Writing about some of the principles we try to practice in our everyday life. If I can do that, I know that I am in some way making that connection and raising my heart and mind in the direction of that 11th step.
A friend of mine recently told me that he has lost the luxury of trying to meditate because of interference of his two young children. They’re up before him and he has no time to do anything, but to concentrate on their needs before he goes to work. Those of us, who heard him say this, told him that his work with his children was a prayer and fulfilled the spirit of the 11th step. He was doing God’s will for him.
A spiritual director, once wrote that we can achieve meditation by spending periods of time doing other things other than just sitting and being quiet. He said that some can achieve the same thing by writing, drawing, or even listening to certain kinds of music. I know others, who have told me that they do it by jogging or walking in the woods. The important thing I think is what are our intentions? Do I intend in what I am doing to make a concious contact with God, as I understand Him?
The other thing I have to remember is that I am not to look for results. I was told that it is just ego to drum up some kind effect, in order to get a sense of accomplishment. I was told by a spiritual director that my only purpose was to make myself available to my higher power for those moments in meditation, in whatever form I choose. The rest is up to my higher power; not me.
I have another friend, who, at the beginnning of his day, dealt with the idea of God’s will for him and the power to carry it out by simply saying to God, “surprise me”.
What I have to remember everyday is why am I even thinking of attempting to do this. It is part of the maintenance of my spiritual condition so that I can remain sober one day at a time.
That’s it. That’s what I was thinking today.