There is a part of the tenth step in the BB, which talks about us having the thought of a drink lifted out of us. A promise, which many of us have experienced, as a result of working these steps. There is a line, which says that we’re in neutral and we are neither cocky or afraid. Which says to me that if I become cocky or afraid that I’m definitely in peril. I’m supposed to be neutral, as regards to alcohol. Then it says something to the effect that this has just happened. It’s something God has done for each of us. It’s in spite of us.
I was talking to a friend of mine today and she told me she met a man we have both known over twenty years in the program, who drank again. He told her that he got cocky.
I guess that happens, getting cocky, when we feel that we’re invulnerable. I guess we would have to believe that we would never drink again, no matter what. In other words, I guess we must think we’re in charge. We have control of the whole situation. We have control over alcohol. We’re no longer powerless.
That statement, that he got cocky, made me wonder. I never think about a drink no matter what occurs in my life. That’s been my experience. I’ve always believed in that promise and I have been comforted by that thought. What a wonderful thing. I am also grateful that I have always remembered those words in the BB. Somehow I have been blessed with the rememberance of those words. The thought of a drink will leave us.
Yet, hearing those words that man said makes me pause and think, could I be getting cocky? It’s at least worth a quick scan of my thoughts and actions. How am I doing? What am I doing to stay sober today? Where is my primary purpose in my mind? Do I remember the words in the BB which tell me that the price of sobriety is eternal vigilance?
Do I remember that what I have is an illness, which is just arrested and not cured? A day at a time, which is dependent on the maintenance of my spiritual condition.
Anyway, it’s worth a moment to stop and think. At least for me.