A friend of mine and I were talking today and he said that he was having difficulty with the concept about being happy beyond our wildest dreams. We must have talked for an hour and then I continued with that thought. Will we? Are we?
My thought is yes, but maybe not in those exact words.
If it means have I realized what was once impossible to conceive is now a reality, then it’s true. For instance, I was always told that the richest man in the world is a man with a friend. If that’s true, and I believe it is, I’m wealthy beyond what’s reasonable. I have found through this program so many friends it’s almost unbelievable. Some of them are deep bonds of friendship, going back years and still strong, despite separation by time and distance. It’s been that way since the beginning of setting my feet on this path. It’s all due to the grace of God and the people in this program. But it’s also due to two things. I stopped drinking and I became willing to put this program into action. This is not a boast, but simply the experience I have had over a long period of sobriety.
But there was a time, when this was impossible. When I was drinking, I lost friends by the droves. Driven by fear, most people fled from me. They didn’t want to be there, when I destroyed myself. Others were pushed away by the result of my actions under the influence. I stole their peace of mind. Like the tornado, as Bill described it, I roared through their lives and left nothing but wreckage behind me. In the end there seemed to be no one. I was lost and alone. Only God could save me. There seemed to be no hope, until that moment, when the prayers of others opened the door to a new way of life. So, the thought of friendship wasn’t even a conception. It was beyond my wildest dreams.
God and others have done for me what I couldn’t do for myself. The hand of AA was there, when I finally reached out. It was the hand of the truest friendship that I could even guess could exist. It wanted nothing and it gave everything. It freed me from the insanity of drinking. In fact it restored me to sanity in the truest sense. It brought me back from the dead and gave me a second chance at life. It placed people in my path, who nursed me back to health and directed me to the way of living, which helped me to escape thinking about me and showed me how to think of others. It gave me a center and foundation, which is the God of my understanding. It opened me to HIs grace and direction. Who could think of this back where I came from?
If we’re talking about an emotion or feeling, which goes along permanently in our lives, then no. That’s unrealistic. There is always going to be life as it really is. We’re all subject to its up and downs, its good times and its bad times. Sadness and loss, failure and success are always there. But who can fail with the support and love true friends?
Never in my wildest dreams had I ever conceived of that. Thank you sobriety. Thank God.
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