I was reminded today about something my sponsor used to say to me, when I was showing a loss of interest in the program. I would tell him I was bored. He would say to me that’s because you’re not doing anything, especially with the steps. And he was right.
A good friend of mine and I were talking today and he reminded me of this.
He brought me back to those times when I was drifting and dreaming. I had become to involved in “other stuff” and was treating AA like a hobby.
My sponsor suggested I go back and study the BB again. To spend some time studying and thinking about the program, other than at meetings. Those too.
I was reading a short story last night about a man who was discovered by his neighbor crawling around on hands an knees in the street under the lamplight. The man asked him what he was doing. He was told that he was looking for his house key, which he had lost. Where did he lose it the man asked. At home, came the reply. Why wasn’t he at home looking for it? Because there was more light out here. The author said that we need to go back to where we lost it He was talking mainly about God, but it applies to all things spiritual.
Where were you, my sponsor would ask me, when you last worked the steps? Good question. Probably under the street lights.
I’ve gotten drifty before. Other stuff had pulled me away from the importance of my sobriety. I had forgotten how desperate I was when I came here. My sponsor and others would remind me, whether I wanted to hear it or not. And then it was up to me to do something about that.
Anyway, just a reminder to me today and something to think about.