A friend of mine remarked this morning how wonderful it was to be able to get up and get washed and have at least a glass of juice. All of this without a hangover and dread of the day ahead. Instead to look forward to another day of sobriety, to once again commit oneself to a higher power, and ask for God’s will and the strength to carry that out. And, as my sponsor used to say, to walk side by side with other men in simple human dignity.
As I write this, I recall that there was once a time, when I couldn’t conceive of anything like this. It was a time, when soaked in alcohol, I thought of how could I face another day. I didn’t want to. Instead I just wanted to die. Life was dark and dangerous. My only interest was in where and when could I get that next drink. As for dignity, I had none. I didn’t even respect myself.
Today I was thinking about this and the joy of living. I enjoy my life in sobriety. I actually look forward to giving what I have learned and what I have found here away to others. Imagine, thinking of others than myself. Who would have dreamed that years ago? To be grateful for what has been so freely given to me?
Life has genuinely changed. I’ve changed. And it’s all due to this program. Over the years, I have had the enjoyment of watching so many others come in and benefit by what we all have found here. Imagine, again, having come from a place of selfishness and self centeredness to one where I no longer jealously want to guard what I have gained, but want it for all who desire to have the same way of life and more if it’s possible.
Anyway, this is what I was meditating on this evening.