We live in a world surrounded by alcohol. Someone reminded me of this the other day. We were talking on the phone about the passage in the BB, which tells us that we are not like other people. Both of those things are important to me and my sobriety.
One of the things the BB tells me is that if I have to be protected from alcohol by avoiding people and places, which serve alcohol, I still have an alcoholic mind. I guess what it’s telling me is that I have to work the 12 Steps to get the benefit of the spiritual answer to my alcoholism. I have to try to practice these principles in all of my affairs. That’s the only way I know to be restored to sanity. To have the mental obsession, the compulsion lifted from me and be placed in a position of neutrality, as far as alcohol is concerned. And to have a spiritual condition I can try to maintain on a daily basis. So far it has worked for me. I am grateful and enjoy this life of sobriety.
It’s the other passage in the BB, which I have stumbled over from time to time. I remember years ago, when I was living and working in Wash. D.C. I was in charge of a sales department and the organization I was working for had made a decision to trim some of its departments and it’s personnel. I remember that I became anxious and worried about this and began to do something I thought was the answer to this. And then one day one of my salespeople showed up in my office. She was aware that I was an alcoholic in recovery. What she said to me woke me up and had a startling effect on my life and my thinking. She said, “I’m worrried about you. You are beginning to act like a normal person and I know that can lead you back to a drink.” No kidding. Then she told me to cut it out and stop worrying what who was going to do what to whom. I did.
Wow! Imagine me as a normal person. I’m an alcoholic through and through. I can never be like other people. I have to always remember this. I don’t think and react to life, as those who are normal and can afford to take a drink with impunity. I don’t envy them, but I know that I will never be the same as those I know, who aren’t alcoholics. I’m not only powerless over alcohol, but I know that my life is unmanageable. Left to my own devices I can self destruct over a period of time. I was told that, when I go into my own head, I need to be accompanied by an adult. Going in there alone can be perilous. That’s why I have sponsors and other alcoholic friends I can talk to about what is going on in my life. They, along with God, are my higher power. They can diffuse and short circuit what goes on within me.
I couldn’t help but think about this today. It’s a reminder that this alcoholic cannot do this way of life alone. I need others in my life, who are just like me and understand what it’s like to be an alcoholic. I am so grateful for the help I have received since I came into this program. How much help and hope I receive from others and how it builds my faith and love for others. None of this was in my life before I came here. Since I’ve been here, through the guidance of others, who have helped to cut me down to right size and helped me work this program, my whole life has been turned around and renewed. They have helped me stay sober. I owe so many so much and know it’s my mission in life to return all that has been so freely given to me to others.