I was thinking about control today. It’s a subject which has been bothering me lately. Or, like the 10th Step says, disturbing me.
I guess control has always been an issue, when I was drinking and in my sobriety. Always thinking to myself that I can handle such and such a situation, only to discover that I had forgotten the basics I have been taught in this program. Mainly that my life is unmanageable, that I’m powerless, and in desperate need of a power greater than myself. And just as important, how much I need the help and wise counsel of others.
This is where pride and control come in. When I think I can solve problems on my own, which are too big for me to handle. Depending on self, when I lack the wherewithal to do so. Those words from We agnostics come back to me, when I think of this.
Lack of power, that was our dilemma.
I was talking to other people these past few days and getting a lot of revelations about just how much my ego and self centeredness can throw me off the path to sobriety. I needed to hear what was being said and accepting the directions I got. Amazing how quickly I can forget and how much I need the help of those I know can help me.
I know this, though; I will always need God’s help and the wisdom of others, if I am to stay sober. I am grateful for the words and directions I was given. And, I need to remember I can’t go it alone.
Doesn’t matter how long I’ve been sober. I will always need the support of others like myself or face the hazard of that next drink.