There is so much information coming at me from all corners of the world. It is more than confusing. My sponsor once told me that I was not to watch the news or read it. He said that was for “normal people” and that I wasn’t normal. I am an alcoholic. Like Bill said in the BB, the idea that we’re like other people has to be smashed.
That doesn’t mean to me that I believe I need to retreat from the world. In fact, the BB suggests that we’re to live in the mainstream of society. What it means to me that I have to learn to temper and filter what comes at me daily. I remember hearing an interview with the author John Le Carre about his books on espionage. He was asked if they were factual. He said no, but that they were the true. He said the world was filled with facts, but not always the truth.
Does this have anything to do with my staying sober? I believe the answer is yes. Very much so. The facts have not always kept me sober. But the truth has. I learned the truth in this program. The fact is that alcohol is still around me. The truth is that I don’t have to drink it. I don’t have to base my decisions on the facts, but only the truth, as I know the truth today.
One thing I know is that when I seem to be overwhelmed with a barrage of facts, I can stop my day and start over. I can go somewhere and be quiet; silent. I can do what I was told a long time ago by my sponsor, who encouraged me to read and study the BB. Once again establish a conscious contact with the God of my understanding. It can be for a moment or it can be longer.
If I will do that, I get the results I need. I find that whatever disturbance is there is calmed. I am once again quiet within. I can leave my character defects in the hands of my higher power and get on with my day.
I was thinking about this today, after I had paused and sat quietly in silence. I knew the truth. And the truth, which is essential to my life, is that I want to stay sober today, despite what goes on around me.