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People, places, and things. I’ve heard that a lot since I came into this program. In fact I heard it again today. Initially I was told to avoid these, if I wanted to stay sober. And I did, because I was so desperate to get away from booze.
But today, as I sat in this meeting, I remembered my sponsor telling me, “Excuses, excuses, excuses! That’s all you’ve got. You keep coming up with excuses for this or for that.” And that was me. I was filled with them. And that’s the point.
It wasn’t the people, places, and things I was drinking over. It was me. My alcoholism. It wasn’t “out there”, it was “in here”. Inside of me. I can blame everyone and everything for my drinking but that’s just not so. I can do that with everything in my life; blame others. But the truth is that it’s in my head.
It’s in (b) in How It Works in the BB. No human power could relieve my alcoholism. No one can get me drunk and no one person can keep me sober. That’s why the 2nd Step is there for me. I had to depend on a higher power to restore me to sanity. Myself alone was not enough. I and everyone else are powerless over this disease.
Anyway, I came home and sat down and thought about all the things people were saying today. I thought back to the beginning and all that I have learned since then from all of what those old timers and my sponsor suggested to me. (Suggested? Some of them nearly knocked my block off “suggesting” things to me. Thank God they did. Talk about a know- it- all klutz.)
What have I learned? I’ve learned that whenever I have a problem, I can go to the mirror and see the source looking back at me. Like my old sponsor told me, to put something up on the mirror, which said “Don’t lie to me!”. Daily I am challenged in all my relations to meet this challenge. Don’t lie to me. The spiritual axiom in the 10th Step in the 12&12.
If I want to stay sober, I have to take a look at this. And, I have to take a look at those first 3 Steps. That was what introcuced me to the solution in this program. I don’t do this perfectly. I often forget. But that’s what the meetings are for. That and talking to others.
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