Restless, irritable, and discontented. Not a great prescription for maintaining sobriety. I’ve been that many times in the past in this program. Worried and axious from projection. Allowing my “problems” to overwhelm me. Relying too heavily on myself and not my higher power.
That was true of me any number of times, until others pried my mind open and pointed out the solution. The words that told me that I have but a daily reprieve from alcohol contingent on my spiritual condition. And there it was; contingent on my spiritual condition. The truth was that my spiritual condition wasn’t all that great. There was more than enough room for improvement. I was going to have to step up to the plate and take action. I was going to have to go through yet another change.
And where are these words to be found in the BB? Just before the 11th Step. Prayer and meditation. Someplace along the line, though I had once been very active in meditation, when I first had gone through the 12 Steps, I had gradually began to let meditation slip away. I was praying all right, “help me”. The old “Fox Hole Prayer” came out of my mouth regularly. But pausing sometime during my day to reflect I saw as taking a chunk out of my valuable time. The truth was that I had become spiritually lazy. I had forgotten what a benefit this was to my sobriety and my peace of mind, let alone part of my spiritual maintenance.
Anyway, someone brought up the 11th Step today. And even though few talked about it or mentioned it, it stirred my mind and made me think about this. I was glad I did. It made me reflect on what I hope is part and parcel of my sober life today.