We were talking about the 12th Step today and that got me to thinking about a lot of things, when it comes to our carrying the message. About people who bring the message and those who are on the receiving end.
I was thinking about a man, who very successfully carried the message and enabled a lot of people to get sober and stay sober. But he himself was never able to sustain any period of time sober. I’ve certainly met a few others like this over my years in the program. It always amazed me, especially when talking to those whom they helped. Most of them swore by him and the way he enabled them to find this program and stay with it.
Then I was thinking about what I often hear some people say about the process of carrying the message to others. How they were dissapointed that so many never get the message, especially when they are trying to tell others what the AA message is.
Why I bring this up is that in my experience, and what I learned from sponsors, is that it’s not what the suffering alcoholic gets from my carrying the message, although that’s my primary purpose, it’s what I’m saying. Do I hear it? As a result of carrying the message, do I walk away sober from the experience? Or, better yet, am I more firmly convicted, as the result of doing what I’m trying to do? One of my sponsors said to me, that the person I was talking to was me.
He knew that if I could win the “argument” with me that I could stay sober.
It’s the old AA paradox: we’ve got to give it away to keep it. In a sense it sounds selfish and self seeking. It’s really not. Simply put it’s exactly what our primary purpose tells us. Stay sober and carry the message to another alcoholic. What’s the message? My experience, strength, and hope. I got sober and you can to, if you want to.
The underpinning of this is the spiritual life we are learning to live in here. After all, that’s the opening of the 12th Step. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, as an old friend of mine likes to emphasize. And, to me, this result is why I’m trying to carry this message in the first place. The awakening changed me so much that I want to help someone else find what I have found. The peace and freedom that I have found in here. Freedom from alcohol and the joy and contentment which has come from working this program. It’s my gratitude in action.
That’s what I need to be listening to, as I deliver the message. After all the guy or gal I’m talking to is me. Another alcoholic just like me.
Anyway, this is what I was thinking about after the meeting and was talking about with an old friend.