Still in my thoughts and prayers. That thought hit me today. The meeting today was on the 11th Step and the 2nd Step. The talk was on prayer and it’s effect on us and our higher power and sanity.
As the meeting went on, I was reminded of a man, who has been in the hospital for weeks, who has been suffering so badly. I realized how much I have been thinking about him. He’s still in my thoughts and prayers. What a change that is from what I was like, when I came in and my thoughts and “prayers” were all about me.
People talked about learning the discipline of prayer. Again I thought about the meaning of that word “discipline”. It’s not about harshness or punishment. Its real meaning is about learning. We have to learn how to pray. We have to learn about the fruits of our prayers. When we do, we will want to pray. Like C.S. Lewis said, prayer doesn’t change God, but it certainly changes us.
That thought brought me back to the change we see in ourselves and so many in the rooms. The evidence of prayer. The result of us living a spiritual life, whether we individually are aware of it or not. Just the fact that we’re sober today. The evidence of our surrender. I can see it in the words and actions of the men and women in the meetings.
Yet I know that if I went up to anyone in the rooms and asked them if they had a handle on spirituality, the spiritual life, they would all argue that they didn’t. It’s not false modesty, but the truth of themselves and their awareness of their shortcomings. They can tell you that they see it in others, but not themselves.
That’s one of the great things about this program. When we’re sober, living a sober life, our thoughts are no longer concentrated on ourselves. I couldn’t help but look around the room and see those, who are struggling with their sobriety. My thought was, what can I do to help them. No kidding. I know how powerless I am to do that, but there it was. I know many of my friends were probably thinking the same thing. I would also be willing to bet that many of them have others, who are still in their thoughts and prayers.