At a meeting last night we read the Fifth Step from the 12&12. During the reading I was reminded of the passage about how dangerous it was to go it alone in spiritual matters. That set me to thinking about this.
I know that I made many mistakes in this regard. And I have heard others talking about this and was often appalled at the lengths some people go to in assuming that their decisions to do something came directly from God.
My sponsor and a spiritual director laid out some cautions on my thinking in this regard.
Especially for me, an alcoholic, who often thought he knew what he was doing. And, I have come to believe in the warning laid out for us that in spiritual matters it’s dangerous to go it alone.
For instance, what is a spiritual matter? How would I know? The truth is I wouldn’t. Often what I’ve heard, which gave me pause, was people giving advice to others. That always makes me uncomfortable. I can even remember one man in a meeting, who was counseling someone and said that the Holy Spirit gave him a message for this person. Talk about nearly losing it. That was me.
Over time I have come to learn to talk to others, who have a long track record in sobriety. I do that almost every day. And, in turn, they open up with their thoughts to me. We help keep each other in line and on track. Especially when talking about the spiritual life and its effects on our sobriety.
Back early on, when Twelfth Step calls were available, the first thing I heard was never go alone. Always take someone with you. I think how much this is applicable in the case of making judgments in what is or what isn’t God’s will for us. Experience has taught me that in most instances, during the day, that the next right thing is often what I need to do.
But there are always those moments, when we have to ask ourselves what should I do now? That’s when I need to pause and take a step back and talk to someone I know, who has their wits about them.
In fact, in my sober life so far, I have found that it’s a good thing to talk to someone just to clear the air. It keeps me from having to carry stuff around in my head and trying to handle everything alone. That’s one of the problems I think that many of us alcoholics are prone to do. To go it alone in fear of bothering someone or opening up to others to let them know just what we’re thinking. Proof of that is the many occasions people have called me after they drank again. Talk about going it alone in spiritual matters.
What is more spiritual a matter than my sobriety? I remember the one time my sobriety was threatened and in real jeopardy. When I was asked what was wrong I told them immediately what was happening to me and they gave me the best advice I have ever received from anyone. They told me to step outside and ask God for help. I did and it worked. I got the help because I didn’t drink.
Often times things are not so black and white and so obvious, as that occasion was. All the more reason for me to talk with another sober alcoholic. If I want to stay sober, I believe I cannot do it alone. That’s the experience of AA and so in my life.