From total despair to hope. That’s an amazing leap for anyone of us. That moment, when in total darkness within to a bright light, which comes the moment we achieve the grace of hope.
That’s why I always find myself going back to that Second Step. That significant moment in my life, when just the mention of the possibility of a way out of my alcoholism lit the flame of hope. And then to have it followed by experiencing my first meeting, where the evidence of a higher power was right there in front of me. Men and women, who, as a group, had the power not to drink alcohol.
That’s what I desperately wanted. And, as I sat there and watched and listened to each one of these people, the evidence became so clear that my hope that maybe I could attain to the same thing they had began to grow. It really began to excite me.
I do think that’s when I began to believe. Believe what? Without understanding or knowing what it was, today I have come to understand it was the beginning of coming to believe that a power greater than myself could restore me to sanity.
I was thinking how that hope is still alive in me today. The hope that I can still stay sober in spite of myself. It’s not dependent on me. It’s dependent on a power greater than myself. My reliance on the the men and women, who are sober and who help me to maintain my sobriety. But it’s very much dependent on the grace of the God of my understanding. The faith and belief, which has grown out of the hope I grabbed onto when I came in.
All this fulfillment of hope is also dependent on what action I take in this way of life I’ve grown into. I was talking to a member today about what I’ve learned about emotional sobriety in this program. If by putting the spiritual principles into action and using my head, as my sponsor told me, for what it was meant to be used, we can and are able to quiet the disturbance within. It’s worked for me and I know many others I have known over the years. This is another thing I had hoped for. It’s part of the restoration to sanity through the spiritual awakening.
I’m still reminded of what hope brought me to, that the spiritual life is not a theory. It has to be lived. Talk about a spiritual awakening and a change in personality. All I could ever have hoped for.