That bondage of self was pretty much what we were talking about today. Wanting to be the director, the producer, and the star of the show we put on every day. Yet the “others” in the show don’t want to follow our directions. The Third Step.
It’s at times like this that I think about the woman’s story in the BB, where she said that she didn’t always get what she wanted in this program, but she always got what she needed. And, when she got what she needed, she found it was what she wanted all along.
After the meeting was over, I talked to someone about a story I had heard. It was about the little girl, who’s doll was broken. She took it to her father and asked him if he would fix it. He replied he couldn’t fix it, because she wouldn’t let go of it.
Those thoughts about my tendency to self will run riot was the real subject. Wanting to do things my way. Not letting go and letting God do for me what I can’t do for myself. And yet the Third Step prayer says, relieve me of the bondage of self, so that I may better serve Him. Who’s in charge? Who has a better idea than me?
All this process, of turning my life and my will over to the care of the God of my understanding, started, when I surrendered to my being powerless over alcohol. It began, when I finally knew that I needed help from a power greater than myself, if I was to be restored to the sanity of not drinking again. That was the solution to what was wrong with me. My problem with alcohol.
The solution was to apply these Twelve Steps to my life. The insanity I suffered from was that I not only couldn’t handle alcohol, but I thought I knew how to handle my affairs, while I still had the mind of an alcoholic. The Steps I found were the way out of this insane thinking. I had to change or I would drink again. I had to find a power greater than myself, who would do for me what I could not do for myself. And I had to learn to rely on this power; to have faith in it.
As I sat and listened today, I found that relief was just a thought away. And I hoped that the person, who brought up the topic would realize that also. It’s about sobriety and sober living and thinking.