Why am I always writing? What do I expect to gain from doing this? Evidently, a lot.
I was thinking about this today. How I’m always going to put words down, which draw my attention back to why I’m sober and this way of life I have found, as a result of my stopping drinking.
For one thing, it’s out of gratitude that I’m always doing this. I’ve come to realize that this program was the best thing that ever happened to me in my life. Just the freedom from alcohol alone would have been enough. But no, I have been given so much more as a result of learning how to live a sober life.
For instance, today, as a couple of us were talking, the idea of relationships and love came into the conversation. I have to confess that I found out that I had no concept of what love is all about, let alone how to have a relationship. Over the years, I have learned to love and have been able to establish friendships, which are still in my life today. And isn’t that what sobriety is all about, besides not drinking? Learning how to live with others? How spiritual is that?
Going back to my reasons for writing, there is one element, which is so important to me. One of the things I was relieved of, when I came in, was the desire for alcohol. Except for one incident, it has never come back. And with the reinforcement of the Twelve Steps and the spiritual awakening, the restoration to sanity, I never think about a drink. However, I know that the idea that I’m cured of this disease is ridiculous. No one is. Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic. And, like the BB says, this disease is cunning, baffling, and powerful. As I said, writing keeps me aware.
To think this all started by accident. Amazing. I’m still doing it and am glad that I did. It’s been part of what has helped me to stay sober.