One thing I know which crosses my mind almost everyday is the Eleventh Step. Getting up in the morning, during the day, and at night going to bed. I’m not talking about long thoughts, but just enough to either get me going or making me aware. Aware of what? The spiritual way of life I was introduced to through the Second Step by my old sponsor.
I am well aware of how wandering my thoughts are. That’s the way my mind has been most of my life. I have to have something which will nail my mind down to where it needs to be. One way is writing my thoughts out, which focuses my mind. I know I need to keep on trying to discipline this mind of mine. Not always easy.
I know when I go to meetings I can focus on what others are saying, if I do several things. One is to look right at the person. Another is to close my eyes and focus on the voice and what they are talking about. Of course the subjects are important. I know if they are out of context, not part of AA, in violation of the Traditions, I can get caught up in my feelings and the thoughts which can follow.
Prayer and meditation. Talking to my Higher Power and then “listening” to the God of my understanding. Prayer I know is talking to God and meditation or contemplative prayer is listening. One is spiritual thoughts and the other are not thoughts. Silence. Not an easy task for me, when I go there. Truth is that neither are. Reminds me of how small I think my spiritual life is.
And then, when I think of this Step, it leads me to the next Step. The Twelfth. When I find that I can share, give away, what I have learned in here, it is like doing God’s will for me. And often I find my mind totally focused on what I should be doing and saying. Not always a new person either. I know that I spend a lot of time in this program sharing and listening to others and what they need. It always seems to fulfill my purpose for being here, which describes to me a lot of the Eleventh Step. The spiritual way of life.
Anyway just needed to stop and think about this. As always it brings back my mind to focus on why I am here. I’m here to stay sober a day at a time. And always it makes me grateful. It reminds me of what I have been given since I came into this program and sobriety.