Good Orderly Direction. One person talked about this being their concept of a Higher Power today, as we talked about the Third Step. Lots of interesting things were talked about today. Basically it was about staying sober and living a happy and full life in here.
I know for me, when it came to this Step and I finally took it, I had to be given the chance to simplify my concepts. I had already been given hope and faith. I had somehow surrendered to that First Step without knowing anything about that Step. I was five days away from this program and I just prayed and gave myself over and somehow admitted how powerless I was. And I had a spiritual awakening without knowing that. I was relieved of alcohol, and it really hasn’t come back.
The First Step opened the program for me. The Second opened the Steps I would need to stay sober. A spiritual way of life. And the Third was the one which opened the other nine Steps for me. And none of this was an overnight event. By the time I reached that Ninth Step and the restoration to sanity and the spiritual awakening again, I had been in this program a long, long time. But it worked. Just took time because of all my defects.
I found that prior to my giving myself over to the Third Step I was caught up in my own head. Intellectualizing, analyzing, trying to figure my “concept” of God out and what this spiritual way of life in here was about. That was until I heard someone ask a question and got a very simple answer and that changed everything. It simplified my thinking and put me into the program. Someone asked what God’s will was for them and got the answer, “The other nine Steps.”
All of a sudden I felt released from my junk and was able to move on.
Later I looked back and could see that this Step was about turning my life and my will over to the God of my understanding. Or, as they used to say regularly in here, “Let go and let God.” And I did learn that…eventually.
My problem I found out was nothing new. I heard alcoholics talk about how their egos got in the way and that was me. Like I have often said, I am grateful for all those old timers in here, who believed in ego deflation in depth. I desperately needed that kind of help to get me out of my own way. It opened the door to this spiritual way of life in here. When my ego inflates again, I know I need to practice deflation.
And part of that is to release and turn my emotions over to my Higher Power. I know that when my emotions are running my life, as they always did before I came here, they can control my thinking and my actions. And, of course, when my faults pop back up, as they do because I’m imperfect. A human being and not a saint. My emotions are taking over once again. And I need to ask for help, which I often get, if I’m committed to this program. Staying sober a day at a time. My primary purpose.
All this was present in my mind, as we talked about the Third Step today. And I’m grateful for the opportunity to be in a meeting like this. A reminder to me what it is I need to do a day at a time.