Always have to stop and do the best I can, when talking to a “new comer”. Especially when I can see a bit of anger in their response to what’s being said. I probably know that well, because I was just like them back in the beginning.
On the one hand, even though I was resistant to “help” from others, t I was totally dedicated to never ever drink alcohol again. However I was in a while and was beginning to learn what the man, who became my old sponsor, told me what was wrong with me from the start. That I really didn’t know that I didn’t know. I only thought I did. That began the changes I experienced in here.
That and the fact that I was introduced, about that time, to a chapter in the BB, which I kept avoiding, thinking I knew all about it. Proof of the fact that what my sponsor told me was true. I was educated beyond my intelligence. The chapter? The fourth, We Agnostics.
The reason I resisted was that I had a lot of philosophy and theology. I knew about agnostics and didn’t realize what that chapter was really about. And what was that? Spirituality and faith in a power greater than myself.
What I discovered I knew was the truth the minute I saw it in the BB. That was by avoiding a spiritual way of life I would end up drinking again and die an alcoholic death. The minute I read that I knew I had to change my mind. Like the BB said, lack of power was my dilemma. No doubt in my mind. I now knew I needed help.
That opened the door to the rest of this program and my being able to stay sober a day at a time for a long time. I’ve never ever had to go back out and drink again since I came into this program. And I’m so grateful. I know it was from developing hope, faith, and eventually love in here. Learning to persevere in these three. They changed my life.
And that was a dependency on my Higher Power I grew to know has helped me to stay sober. I grew in hope and faith I never had before. I have been able to stay sober each and everyday, one day at a time. And I’m so grateful.
I wish I could have passed that on to the person we talked to this day, but I know the Serenity Prayer helped me at that moment. I can’t change anyone but myself, if they don’t want to change. My only concern is the one that always arises, when I fear that someone will go back out. And that’s the cost we all face, who are alcoholics. Our lives. Seen it too many times. I know all too well. A year and a half in here I ended up having an internal hemorrhage, which was caused by my alcoholic drinking.
Enough. Just need to be grateful for all the blessings I have received in here. A new freedom and a new happiness. Serenity and peace of mind. The promises in the Ninth Step came into my life. I was restored to sanity. I had stopped fighting everyone and everything, including alcohol. And, of course, the spiritual awakening. And much more. I need to thank my Higher Power, this program, and all those in here, who have freely given to me to help me stay sober a day at a time.