When those old timers talked to us, back when I came in, they told us exactly what I needed to learn. And that was how hazardous our emotions were to alcoholics. Some of them can take us back out again. And those were anger, resentment, self pity, and a few others.
What those old timers were beginning to teach me back then was to depend on my Higher Power and to turn these emotions over to him. Intellect over emotions is how they put it. Or, as my sponsor said to me, think with my head and not my heart. Good advice, because I had personal contact with some of those who went back out on those emotions and died.
Over time I began to do what I was told and in my own life I have been relieved in a sense of the influence these emotions have over me. Of course that doesn’t mean that they can’t come back and take over. After all I am human, not a saint. My mentality is still here as are my emotions. When I find myself drifting, as I do, I can be brought back to the reality of my defects and need to once again turn my life over to this program and my Higher Power.
Why I brought this up is that I was reminded of all of this stuff by others in here, who called and contacted me about their problems. And one was definitely on the edge. And that was about amends. I had witnessed some of this in the past and needed to tell them to be careful, and make sure that they had truthfully shared and were willing to follow directions. These could bring up anger and resentments and we all need help.
And once again I am reminded of why I am here. I am here to stay sober a day at a time. Like others I’m human and subject to things popping up and tripping me up. I was told that when I found myself in these things that I needed to start my day over. Pray and ask for help and share with others. And to learn to be grateful for all I have been given. To put the negative attitudes behind me and adopt a positive attitude. I need to remember to thank my Higher Power, the program, and the people in it, who have helped me so much.