Sometimes working with others leads to difficulty for me. My own reactions can be a road block for some, who are suffering from the trouble of their own. Makes me feel backward in a sense.
I know exactly what they are going through. Been there myself at one time. In fact it took a long time for me to make the changes I so desperately needed. I was so plagued with negative emotions, it took a long time for me to change and come to depend on a state of mind, which helped me to grow along lines which this program and the spiritual life I’m supposed to live gave to me.
Back then I had a great old timer and his wife, who were working with me. It took me a long long time to begin to respond the way I know I should. I learned later how well they knew how to tell me to shut up from time to time. But thankfully they got me to respond in the right way. I owe them so much gratitude and my need to grow along the lines of humility which I so desperately needed.
I can’t help but think of how much I continue to need to learn. I can well understand what the lack of sainthood means to people like myself, who are human alcoholics. I can often start my day in a prayer and even spiritual nature, but find myself tripping up from time to time. That’s what my old sponsor and a lot of those old timers told me would occur in my life. The stumbling and bumbling and tumbling I would suffer from until the end of my life. And how I would need to pray and ask for help to continue to try to keep on changing. We all suffer from that.
Anyway I know how much I really have changed along the line. The peace and love I continue to experience. The hope, faith, and love I was given, along with compassion, and caring for others like myself. The change in my personality and my need to overcome what was so wrong with me when I came here.
And part of all this is the result of these Steps and my commitment to grow along spiritual lines. But mainly my need to stay sober a day at a time. That and being willing to freely give to others like myself what I had to learn, which was so freely given to me. I need to thank my Higher Power and all those who freely gave to me what I so desperately needed.