One of the things I was thinking about today was “I” over “E”, intellect over emotions. When I got sober the “E” was still running my life. And then my old sponsor stepped in and began to help me to change and opened up my intellect, to rationalize my thinking and living.
I have never forgotten the BB and its statement about our emotions, which stated how dangerous our negative emotions are. It talked about how resentments can get us drunk again and cost us our lives. Not just once in the BB, but a couple of times. First statements were early on in the book. In fact my first sponsor and another man with the same ten years sober, had resentments and went out and drank and both died.
I had to learn how to begin to change. And, of course, the first thing my old sponsor did was to work the Second Step, which introduced me to the spiritual life and me getting to have a relationship with my Higher Power. Never forgot that. It began to change my thinking. But all things take time. Not an overnight event.
Eventually I began to stop having resentments, anger, loneliness, grief, hatred, and on and on. I had started to think with logic, which I had lost back when I began drinking alcohol. In fact what I fell into was destroying my life.
However, as the BB states, we are not saints. We are human alcoholics and will run into stumbling, bumbling, and tumbling, and have to learn how to pick ourselves up, and, with our Higher Powers help and that of others, start
our day over…and stay sober.
Anyway, I am grateful for all I have learned, and have much gratitude to my Higher Power, and all those old timers, who helped me to change.