As long as

A friend of mine and I talked today, about this website. He wanted to know what it’s about. I know he laughed, when I said, it’s about me. It’s not about what other people think it’s about. It’s about my thoughts. My meditations on sobriety and this program.

I told him I started writing my thoughts many years ago. I wrote them, because, if I didn’t, just sitting and meditating, my thoughts would be all over the place. Not on what I started to think about. By writing them I keep my focus. Well, most of the time.

How they got on the computer and out to other people is really simple. Someone let me use their computer to write my thoughts. I wrote them down on the email format. I knew nothing about computers and didn’t know how to copy or erase that thought. I looked up at “send” and just pressed that and the thought was gone. What I didn’t know was that the person had someones name and address on it and that’s where it went.

The rest was simple. The person who received it was a friend of mine in the program and asked me would I send them to her, when I wrote them. I said yes, but I was still just writing what I was thinking. Someone else saw it and asked me to send it to them. Years later, and a list of about 90 people, it was getting a little top heavy.

That’s when some friends stepped in, particularly a computer expert, and talked about a website. I didn’t like the idea. I thought it too public. I mean I’d still be anonymous, but a place where anyone could go and read my writing? No way. But some old timers, my sponsors, and others, who received these, insisted.

Now it’s simple. No more emailing all those people on the list. Now I just send one to the man, who knows something about computers. He gets them and posts them. I have nothing to do with it, except to continue to write them for me.

I still know very little about computers. But I do know what I think about: staying sober and working this program.

I love this program and the people in it. I still believe that I’m sober in spite of myself. I still believe what it says in the BB, that the spiritual life is not a theory. It has to be lived. As imperfectly as I do it, I’m somehow still sober. Pretty much what I was thinking today, before my friend asked me some questions about what I was doing. And, oh yeah, I’ve now agreed that it’s ok for others to read them, as long if they are of any help to them. Not much different than when they were going out from me to others.

I’ll stop and once again say, still thinking about sobriety.