My sponsor once told me to put a card on my mirror, saying “Don’t lie to me!”. We were talking today about being honest. Particularly with others. To tell the truth, but not to harm them. Someone said that they were having difficulty in dealing with a friend, who was not good for them. Tough decision.
I know that my sponsor also told me to stick with the winners and not the losers. Unknowingly I was hanging out with the “losers” at the time he said this to me. I guess the reason was that I was more comfortable with them than the sober old timers. However he opened the door for me to become better acquainted with them. And I did.
One man, sober quite a while, remarked that often times we probably are guilty of “little white lies”. Probably true. Possibly because we want to avoid hurting or injuring someone with the truth. I know that I have probably done that from time to time. Never stopped to think about it.
Most talked about honesty finally becoming easier for them after that Fifth Step. I thought about that and was not sure. Probably because I still felt guilty. That guilt feeling didn’t go away until the Ninth Step. I’ve heard a few others say the same thing. My take on it was that, when I did my Fourth and Fifth it was because I was buried in guilt and remorse at that time. I did get some relief, but not quite all that I heard others talk about. It still hung over my head for a long time. Perhaps it was the result of the way I grew up. Pretty sure.
Anyway I was thinking about the subject of getting honest and living an honest life. Goes along with what’s needed for us to stay sober. Going back to people, who threatened my sobriety, I really pulled away from them very early on in the program. I knew I had to. Sometimes I’ve looked back at this and wonder. It meant leaving a lot of good people, but the friends I have made in here have definitely made up for all of that. Just being honest.
Once again it was about working this program and staying sober. I had to laugh, when I thought about honesty. I must have done a better job than I often think I have. All I know is that I’m still sober. And that’s what this program and the people in it are all about. I love it.