This concept we’re taught in here about taking things a day at a time is such a blessing to me that I can’t help but think about it again.
A young man today, fairly new, said that things weren’t happening to him quick enough in this program. He wants everything right now. Among them is not to be always anticipating things in the future and being dragged back into the past. He admitted it was keeping him on the edge. I certainly can identify with his impatience and the insanity of thinking that way. Always projecting and being dragged down with those vicious thoughts springing up from the past to haunt me.
I know from my own experience how I value being able to hold to the present moment and remain in this day and only in today. I know that this all comes about by recommiting myself everyday to this program. Without it I am powerless. Not only over alcohol, but my life. I know how, if I forget, I am condemned to total unmanageability.
What is it the chapter in the BB We Agnostics has to say? Lack of power was our dilemma. The 2nd Step. The rememberance of my dependence on a power greater than myself. That’s where I can get the grace to stay in this day and not wander off the path into my character defects, which drag me down into the past and the anxiety of the future.
One thing I am certain of is that it’s not my assets, which keep me sober, but my character defects. I have so many of these faults within me that they keep me busy enough to keep me in this day. This very minute. Right now. And, if I keep myself in the present, I can depend on God to help keep them under control. Enough control that I can stay in balance and live a relatively peaceful and serene life…today. And stay sober in the process.
It’s like I said, when I get careless and forget, I can get bushwhacked by these character defects and find myself wandering around morbidly in the past and jumping over the present into the fear of the future. But you all have taught me that I don’t have to go there and what to do to avoid this kind of situation. I have learned that, if I talk to God and other people, if I will listen to the wise counsel offered to me and don’t go it alone, that I will be reminded of where I belong; right here, right now. I don’t have to be overwhelmed by things I am powerless to do anything about.
One good friend said today that he often finds himself rushing around and going nowhere fast. I know that drill all too well. So, right now, as I sit here thinking about this, I am determined to stay in the present and not venture one way or the other. I am content with what I have been given and am willing to stay sober this day.