Reasonable. That’s a word I don’t hear too often. An old friend of mine used it, when he talked about what this program has given him. He always said that he was “a reasonably happy man”. I need to remember that, because it’s an apt description for me.
I was reminded of him today, when another friend brought up the topic of “gratitude”. Whenever he is in attendance at meetings, and they ask for a topic, this is what he brings up. It’s amazing how I like to hear him do that. There was a time in my early sobriety, when I hated the topic. I couldn’t think anything for which I should be grateful. I was a grouch and angry at everything. Only after I began to realize what this program had done for me, relieving me of the bondage of alcohol, did I begin to identify with gratitude.
I have been told over and over that the grateful man will not drink again. I believe that. To me gratitude is not a feeling. I know I can still be grateful, even when I don’t feel grateful. But I can think gratitude and act as if I am grateful. When I do, I realize that I am grateful. Not only grateful, but reasonably happy.
To me unreasonable happiness is a form of madness; insanity. Any superlative is. It’s over the top. I found that I am not supposed to go there and I don’t. I have, thanks to the many who have helped me, found a sense balance in this program for the first time in my life. It’s what the 12 Steps have given to me. A degree of peace and serenity. What I understand as my spiritual condition. The basis to my sobriety.
Anyway, I was thinking about this today and being grateful…and reasonably happy.