Have you ever been in situations, which are loaded with emotional booby traps, and wonder how you got there? Ones that seemingly drive you to the brink? Ones which could possibly lead to a drink? Welcome to the club.
How do these things happen? Say, for example, I find myself in an explosive situation. I lose my temper and say things, which I instantly regret. I find myself sitting there and beating myself up for what I did. How did that suddenly happen? It seems like all the things I’ve learned in this program were lost in a flash.
But were they? If I’m honest with myself, most of what probably happened occurred long before the moment I lost it. What happened may be for my benefit and is a “gift” to me, if I will take the time to do an inventory and find out the truth.
Two things are at play here. One is to first calm the disturbance and the second is to put the emotions to the side and think with my head and not my heart. This is something I must do, if I want to stay sober. I’m always reminded of what the BB says, when it reminds me that I promised to do anything for victory over alcohol. This is one of them.
I discover that there was another emotional disturbance, which preceded the incident above. Something, which was entirely unrelated to that incident, but it pulled me down and led to my letting other things go by the board, because it distracted me. That in turn set me up for someone saying something, which displeased me and BOOM!
There’s really no riddle. What’s happened is that I have failed to listen to the wise counsel of this program. It’s all about emotional sobriety. I may be advancing in age chronologically, but my emotions may be that of a teen ager. And that is perilous to the alcoholic. I can get cut off from the sunlight of the spirit in a second, because I have failed to be vigilant.
I was thinking about this today, after a conversation with a friend of mine. We were talking about sobriety and this came up. What a wonderful program and how grateful I am for friends in it, who can remind me of how to stay sober one day at a time.