A good friend of mine in this program and I were talking tonight about personal problems. Basically we were talking about our relationships in this program.
I know from my own experience what I have learned from others in here. From examples I have watched and from instructions I was given by my sponsor and other old timers. One of them had to do with getting along with others, regardless of what has gone on.
I know that a few things have happened and I could have developed resentments and anger, but I learned from my sponsor what I needed to do or not do. And one of them was the old saying back then: intellect over emotions. To learn how to depend on my Higher Power and ask for help. Which I did and got rid of negative emotions.
The reason I say this is that I have personally witnessed what the BB said about resentments. Them cutting us off from the sunlight of the spirit, us returning to alcohol, and dying as a result. I’ve seen it. Nothing could change my mind after that. I knew I had to do something which could help change me and I did. Didn’t happen overnight, but eventually I grew to depend on a Power greater than myself, which helped me to cut down on the effects these negative emotions had on my life.
My sponsor pointed out to me that I needed to develop tolerance and let go of my old responses to others. That allowed me not to get caught up in condemning a group or individuals in groups. Learning to accept and continue to attend whatever meetings I chose to go to, regardless of the reactions of others to the same situations. Like I said, a return to alcohol, followed by their deaths is not why I came here.
I had to learn to learn. And that meant listening to those who had the experience I definitely needed. Like I said, my sponsor and others were those who gave me the guidance. Like my sponsor pointed out to me early on that I didn’t know that I didn’t know. I only thought I did. I look back at him and those other old timers, who shared with me what I needed, and am so grateful. They knew how to cut my ego down to size and open my mind.
Anyway I had to stop and think about all of this. It has changed my mind about what I need to handle on a daily basis. It always opens my mind to why I am here to begin with. To stay sober a day at a time. Never want to forget that. It saved my life and my mind. It always amazes me when I stop and think about it. Like I said I know I need to say thanks to my Higher Power, this program, and all those who have reached out to me and helped me to stay sober. Hopefully it will show in my life.