I had to stop today and think about what our group was talking about today. I didn’t agree with those, who felt they had to describe their belief or disbelief. I had learned in here to be quiet about what I held in my heart and mind. I read in the BB that it was up to whomever I was working with to accept whatever it was they came to believe in. Not my choice or my directions.
Anyway, it did bring to mind a lot of what I believe we needed to think about. And that to me was growing along spiritual lines. What I had learned in the Second Step. Starting to live a spiritual way of life. Something I had left back, when I started to drink alcoholically. Now here I was returning to come to believe in a Power greater than myself. My Higher Power.
To begin to practice hope, faith, and eventually love, as far as I could understand. I think that’s when I became willing to put these Steps into action in my life, beginning with that Third Step. Trying to turn my will and my life over to changing from what I brought into this program and taking on a whole new way of living. To become a sober human being. To walk away from my old way of life and take on a new way of living. A spiritual way of life.
And that’s what I believe happened over time in here. I have started to change into a new person. Hopefully I have been restored to sanity. I know I stopped fighting everyone and everything, including alcohol. I also know that I have experienced a spiritual awakening. Alcohol is no longer present within me. And though I am not a saint, only a human being, I believe I have improved. I know I stumble from time to time over my old defects and faults. But they are not all that bad.
I know that each day I begin by asking to do the will of the God of my understanding and stay sober. To freely give what I was freely given in here to people just like myself. The new alcoholic and even the old alcoholic, who is suffering. To be willing to share and be shared with. To carry the message of how this program has worked in my life and hopefully be an example of sober living.
Anyway I had to stop and think about this. Staying sober a day at a time. I am so grateful. I need to give thanks to my Higher Power, my old sponsor, those old timers, and all those who have helped me along the way.