Back early on, in my sobriety in here, I remember a very spiritual man telling us that we needed to put four things in our lives. The first was perseverance. The second hope, then faith, and finally love. He told us that we needed to develop these and never ever let go of them.
The first was perseverance to grasp and never let go. And, of course, the first thing to be grasped was hope. And it was hope, which I was given, which pulled me back from killing myself, and opened the door to my God back then, and stopped me from drinking alcohol. For me a miracle. Have never forgotten those moments back then.
The next was faith. Over time in here, especially when I went back and saw what happened, when I prayed and asked to be relieved of the bondage alcohol had over me, and then that happened. I was able to renew the faith I was given and have built on hope and faith ever since. Hopefully persevering.
And then comes love. That was the most difficult for this alcoholic. A lot of reasons why. However some friendships began in here early on and that was the beginning of love in my life. Of course the Twelfth Step was another beginning of love. I could see how others had loved me. Freely giving to me and helping me to freely give to others. Never want to forget that either.
But tonight I went back and read a deeply spiritual writer, a cleric alcoholic, who went into detail about love. I also went back and recalled others and what they all said, which I do believe is what love is about. I am thinking about what they all said and have no doubt what they said is true. But putting it into action isn’t going to be easy. It means not just changing my mind, but how to do it.
I think I’m willing, because I have already started this way of thinking and dealing with others objectively. Not the way we all grew up and were shown what we thought was love. But now being open and objective. Not letting my feelings determine love. But being able to deal with others with honesty toward not just them, but also myself
Anyway I had to stop and think about this tonight, because today we were talking about honesty. And as we talked, some of this came into my mind. Of course all of this relates directly to my sobriety. I need to continue to try to grow spiritually in here. And to stay sober a day at a time.
I am grateful for what I’ve been given and what continues to help me change. I know all of this rests in the hands of my Higher Power, my memories of the past and the changes I have been going through in here, and my friends and others, who have helped me to stay sober and to grow along spiritual lines. Everything makes me grateful. I need to remember to say “Thank you”.