No matter what we read, see, or hear, it’s still about one thing; alcohol. I guess that’s why they call this Alcoholics Anonymous.
We can talk about all the issues we want. We can talk about depression. We can talk about what makes us feel sad. We can even talk about how we feel about everything. But it’s still about the drink. I might feel bad, but if I forget what it’s really about, that’s when I know I will be in trouble.
My take on it is this: the further we get from a drink, the more involved we get with our psyches. Put another way, our egos. We get all involved with us and our problems. The meetings tend to become “therapy” sessions. It’s about our minds now. Our problems. The mental is the main theme. How do I know? Because I’m just as guilty as the next man or woman sitting there.
However, I have to remember the physical part of this disease. When I confess and surrender to being powerless over alcohol, that’s it. The thing that plagued me for years; drinking alcohol. I couldn’t for the life of me get away from having to take a drink. I had a physical compulsion and a physical craving for alcohol. Bill tells us in the BB that the alcoholic must believe that he is as physically abnormal as he is mentally. The first expressed must in the BB.
I never want to forget this and I really can’t afford to forget. Not if I want to stay sober. I want to remember what it was that alcohol did to me. I want to remember that last day drinking and my bottom. It was all about booze. It was only after I got here and learned about the nature of this disease that the mental and spiritual side of this disease was revealed to me. I never walked into a bar and said give me a drink because my feelings are hurt. I never said give me a drink because I don’t have a God in my life. I just drank automatically.
The mental recovery and the spiritual recovery are all important. I have to have these to help me recover from the craving and compulsion in my body. Recover from drinking alcohol.
I was thinking about this today. My recovery is dependent on first getting away from the drink. My alcoholism is always about alcohol. The other things too. But it begins and ends with the drink. Alcohol is my enemy. It was once my friend, but no more. I don’t fear alcohol, but I do respect it and what it can do to me. This what I must always remember. I’m still powerless.