You don’t know Dennis. He was a native American, an ex Marine, a badly wounded Viet Nam vet, and an alcoholic. Bill Fleming called me this morning to tell me that they had found Dennis dead in his apt. near where I live. I knew Dennis, probably as well as anyone up here. He was originally from Oklahoma. I went to meetings with him, when he came over to pick me up. He would often call me to talk. He had a tendency to isolate and would call me at times, when he did.
Most likely Dennis was drinking at the time of his death. Bill was pretty sure he was. Dennis had demons he struggled with. Part of that was his post traumatic syndrome from the war. But, the bottom line was his alcoholism.
When I got the call, my first thought was of Marilyn S., who was found dead in a downtown Baltimore hotel. That image comes back to me from time ! to time. It did this morning.
No one is immune from this disease. Cunning, baffling, and powerful. Without help it’s too much for us. Those words always ring in my head, everytime this kind of thing happens. We’ve all had these things happen to remind us of the fatal nature of this disease. Hard to pass on to the newcomer, who can’t be scared by such tales, but very real to those of us, who have had friends and acquaintences, who have suffered the consequences of falling back into the insanity of taking that first drink again.
I know that I am not delivering news to you. After all, like I said, you didn’t know Dennis. But I know what Fern would go through, when she heard this kind of thing. It’s not so much fear as it is a sense of uncomfortability. I never like to hear this kind of news. Death is always with us. Most of us are familiar wit! h loss. But the death of an alcoholic, who has gone back out is distressing. Especially someone close.
I’m not going to dwell on this. I realize that we’re powerless over anyone, who suffers from alcoholism. And I don’t want to make a point of using this as an example of what can happen to each one of us, if we forget and fail to practice the spiritual principles of this program. That’s obvious. It just helps to tell others.
Love, Ned