My older brother and I had something in common, other than being related. We had both had the experience of being at sea. My brother served in the Coast Guard in World War II. He was often on convoy duty in the North Atlantic during the Winter season in the Arctic Ocean. One thing I remember him telling me was about the lifelines, which were strung along the bulkheads, to keep men from being washed overboard in those stormy seas. He said that a number of men were always being lost, because they failed to grab on to these lifelines.
I remember one day in particular, when we were off Hampton Roads. Our ship was caught in a hurricane and was being pretty much tossed around during this storm. I had orders to report to the bridge during this storm and when I went out on the weatherdeck to go to the bridge, the wind and the waves were overwhelming. As I approached the ladder to the bridge, a great wave rose up towering over me by some twenty or thirty feet. It was awesome and terrifying. Somehow, at that moment, the ship rolled to port and threw me against the bulkhead away from the wave. My point? I never thought about the lifeline or even noticed if one was there. I was fortunate. It could have gone the other way.
I was thinking about this today, for some reason. I was also thinking about something the BB points out to us. Just how vigilant we must be each and everyday. Eternally vigilant. We’re told it’s the price of our sobriety. To pay attention. To look for a “lifeline”. Not to get careless and forget that I’m an alcoholic. I’m not like other men.
I can’t afford to live willy nilly in a world that drinks. And it is a drinking society. I can’t lock myself away from this fact. Everyday we’re exposed to alcohol, whether in attractive ads on TV or in the press. We enter restaurants and social events, where drinking is prevalent. If I’m not prepared to look for the lifelines and get careless like I did that day in the Navy, I can get lost. And Bill tells us that we can’t continually avoid alcohol. If we try to, he tells us we still have an alcoholic mind and it won’t work.
The lifeline I’m thinking about is in the spiritual life. Like the book says, the spiritual life is not a theory; it has to be lived.
I was talking to a friend of mine just now. He said he and a few others are going to a place to meet with the Dhalai Lama. He told me that on one occassion, when he met him before the Dhalai Lama talked about anger. He said he has to avoid anger. That when a mosquito lands on him, if he’s not angry, he will simply brush him away. If he is angry he slaps it.
We live in a sea of anger. Sometimes, when I’m not aware, anger will come up and take me unawares. Stormy emotions of any sort are not for us alcoholics. They can overwhelm us, if we’re not aware of their presence in our lives. Even the most spiritual of men are subject to them. One day at a time they practice their spiritual programs to keep these emotions at bay. I too must do the same. This is my lifeline.The program. The temptation to give in can be too great at times. I need help. I can’t do it alone.
I know that anger cuts me off from the sunlight of the spirit and that the insanity will return and that I can drink again. I pray that God will protect me from such a violent emotion and keep me on the path. I need to practice and maintain my spiritual conditon always.
Like I said, just thinking on this Saturday morning.