This morning I got some news about an old friend of ours. It made me stop and thnk about a lot of things, but one thing in particular; the thought of what we’re supposed to learn about in this program.
It took me back to that turning point in my life, when I came in here. That first step. Having to give up and surrender to my alcoholism. About my being powerless and having to learn to accept that totally. The perfection of that surrender and acceptance, as Bill pointed out to us. What a complete revolution that was. I don’t think I had ever surrendered to anything and certainly wasn’t familiar with the concept of acceptance. But, when I had run out of choices, there was nothing left for me but to do it.
Then I found that this program was going to be a lifetime of surrender and acceptance to a lot of things. One of Bill’s early advisers came up with the term “the discipline of surrender”. That’s what I lacked a whole lot of; discipline. Especially, when it came to surrendering my will for someone else’s. I wrestled with this problem for a long time. I still do on so many issues in my life. God’s will, not mine. Now there’s an argument in the making.
I believe it’s God’s will that I never drink again. Of course it’s just for today and a lot of days before this one. That’s paramount in my mind and in my innermost being. I, also, realize that this will always be just the beginning. Each day is just that, a new beginning.
Anyway, I was thinking about that this morning.