How do I act around others? What kind of example am I to others? Have I become concerned for others and really started to live for them rather than selfishly for myself.
I was thinking about the solution and the 12th Step today. That is, I was thinking about sobriety and sober thinking and acting.
I sometimes forget that I may be the only copy of the BB anyone might get a chance to read. I can get careless and more thoughtless rather than thoughtful. I can forget to practice these principles in all of my affairs. I often get clues to this, when others act negatively toward me as a result of these kinds of “slips”.
The 12th step has a lot in it about relationships. Relations with God and others. It’s when I stop living in the now and wander off in my head that the trouble starts. It’s when I’m up there on the top story that I’m away from others and the guidance I need. My head gets cluttered with all kinds of stuff. I may feel safe at the beginning, but it always ends up in a bad place.
I may think I’m being spriritual, but how would I know? I can only know where I am by talking to others and being attentive to what they say in response. They can tell me where I am. On my own I can only guess. When I think I know is when I really need to talk to someone.
I’m safest when I’m working with another person. I’m out of myself and listening to them. My thoughts are not about me. I need to be careful about not giving advice or directions other than to the steps and the program. My own experience is my only resource other than the BB and the words I have heard from others more sober than myself. That way I know that I’m on the path to sobriety and spiritual growth.
Anyway, I have talked to a number of people this day and listened and had to qualify what I responded to and what I said. I have had to confess my own shortcomings in doing this. Everytime I do, I get a chance to deflate my ego and my pride a little more. And when I do, I find that I’m the beneficiary of this gift I have been given. I am sober one more day.