I prayed to God for patience and He gave me long lines.
All through the meeting today those words kept running around in my mind. A young man, new in the program, told us how impatient he was to get sober and to benefit from this way of life. He was impatient to correct all those problems he had created with his drinking and have them come to a successful conclusion. He was new and impatient.
I could identify with his predicament. I had been the same way, when I was new. But my sponsor only consoled me with the “joke” above. I prayed to God for patience and He gave me long lines. In other words, I was going to have to learn to wait. Either that or go back out and drink again.
Patience was not an easy virtue for me to learn. It was because I wanted what I wanted and I wanted it right now. When I told my sponsor that, he mimicked me by repeating my words back to me. “I want what I want when I want it.” And then he followed that with, “You’ll get what you get when you get it.” And, as always, he was right.
I could only get patience by practicing patience. That’s what I learned. I had to learn by practicing standing in line and waiting. I learned that much of life is waiting around. Of course I could do what I used to do. I could step up to the plate and make things happen. But I learned the hard way, that, when I tried to make things happen, I usually made them worse.
Learning to keep my mouth shut and to wait patiently has added so much to my life and my sobriety. It has added much to the practice of the spiritual life in this program. When I have asked God for something, say an answer to some question, I have learned that God has no clock and no calendar. I have had to learn to wait. To practice patience.
This was not an overnight learning experience. It took much time. Not days or months, but years. And I’m still learning. It is something that I have to practice almost everyday. Patience.
But it was worth it. It has been a big part of my sobriety. And I have a lot of people, who from their own learning and practice, have taught me the lessons I needed to learn. After all, there are those who add to the statement that alcohol, is cunning, baffling, and powerful. They also say “and patient”. If it is so patient, I know I have to learn to out wait the drink. I have to be more patient than the alcohol itself. Only the alcoholics in this program and my higher power can continue to teach me patience and reinforce and support me in maintaining this patience in my sober life.