One of the benefits of going to meetings is talking to others and learning from them something we need to know or something we already know, but are unaware of that knowledge within us.
Yesterday I was talking to a man I know after the meeting and he was talking about how much he was getting from reading the stories in the BB. How much those stories were helping him understand what was in the first 164 pages of the BB. Today I was thinking about that and it reminded me of a few stories I particularly have found helpful in the process of staying sober.
One of them in particular came to mind and I went back and looked at it again. It’s from an earlier edition and not in the current BBs available. It’s called The Car Smasher. What it reminds me is that we’re never done and that there’s more to do. Particularly with those seemingly unending character defects.
I was reminded today about resentments. And this is what he says about his alcohol and how I applied it to resentments. It opened my eyes and my mind to the solution.
“There are, it seems to me, four steps to be taken by one who is a victim of alcoholism.
First: Have a desire to quit.
Second: Admit you can’t. (This is the hardest.)
Third: Ask for His ever present help.
Fourth: Accept and acknowledge this help.”
As I was talking to an old friend about this problem of resentments, suddenly it came to me. When it comes to resentments, I know just how critical it is that I get rid of them as quickly as I can, because I know how dangerous they are to my sobriety. I always say to myself that I have to pray for the person to get rid of them. I have a desire to quit the resentment, but it’s the second step above, that the Car Smasher talks about, that I never thought of. That’s because I am running the whole process. I never admit to myself that I can’t let go of it. Like he said, this is the hardest to admit. I am powerless to let go of my anger on my own.
Just our talking about it opened both of us up to the solution. The very fact we were talking was the beginning of the solution. How grateful I am that I am a member of AA. We have people who understand exactly what we’re talking about. People who are willing to listen and help one another to find the answer to our problems and help us to stay sober. And that is just the beginning of the solution.
Anyway, I was thinking about how much help is available to me, if I will but open myself to it.