You won’t believe this…or maybe you will. I was at the meeting today and a woman I know brought up having to make decisions about a change in her life. She was struggling with that and not sure what she should do next. She wanted to talk about the Serenity Prayer. Of course, I threw in the 2nd Step, to laughter and groans.
But, I believed that the 2nd Step was appropriate. After all, a belief in a higher power and a trust and reliance on this higher power is the solution. It was the solution to my alcoholism and so many of my other “problems”. It opened the door for me to the rest of the Steps and the restoration to sanity. The spiritual awakening.
Anyway, I was sitting in the meeting, listening to people share their own experiences about changes in their lives, and how they got sober, when I had an epiphany. As I sat there I was questioning my faith and reliance on my higher power. I closed my eyes, listening and thinking about this and suddenly I was given the answer to a problem, which had been bugging me since Sunday. Blink! And there it was.
I had been trying all week to do what I was told to do. Trying to calm the disturbance within me and relying on the God of my understanding to open my mind to the answer to what was disturbing me. All along an undercurrent was running through my mind that I was going to have to make some changes. What I realized to day that that wasn’t the answer. The answer was so simple that it startled me.
The answer had been there all along, right under my nose. I had been caught between two people in an argument, both of whom had appealed to me to side with them. My emotions had jumped in, although I had followed directions to keep my mouth shut. My sympathy was tugging me to side with my daughter, which would require me to make a change. My prejudice was against another relative involved. What came to me was that I was to do absolutely nothing. To mind my own business. It had nothing to do with me.
It was up to them to resolve their difficulty or not.
My problem was, as always, me. I was disturbed and what was wrong with me was the same old story. My character defects of anger and resentment. Today at the meeting, the 2nd Step came into play. If I truly trusted my higher power, I would let go and really practice that 3rd Step. Turn my life and my will over to the care of the God of my understanding. And by letting go, stay sober in mind and body one more day.