Sometimes I have to wonder about my preoccupation with thinking about sobriety. I know I really don’t. Most of the time I go about my day without a thought. Generally it’s only at meetings, talking to another alcoholic, or when I pause at some point to sit down and contemplate something about some aspect of sobriety.
For me it’s important to stop my day and do what I’m doing right now. Relating to myself and meditating on what goes on in my mind about my sober life. After all, everything I have is a direct result of my getting sober. Without sobriety I would probably be dead right now. Probably dead back in the early ’70s, if I had gone on drinking. Thank God I didn’t and thank God I found AA.
All my emphasis on AA and sobriety was given to me by my sponsor Tom L. He was the one who put that spark into my mind and heart that this was something I should do daily.
It began when he told me that the BB was not something just to read, but something I should study always. He’s the one, who introduced me to Step study meetings. Big Book meetings. Traditions studies and meetings. Meetings on how AA works. The who, the what, and the where of AA. The importance of my regular attendance at meetings. And he was the one, along with my first sponsor and others, who insured that I went on 12th Step calls, as long as and as much as they were once available.
As far as spirituality and my understanding of a higher power went, he really never spoke about it. But it was there for me in his example. Only once, as far as memory serves me, did he say anything. It was a moment in his kitchen, when I commented on a picture of an old man, sitting at a table, and obviously praying. He kind of chuckled and told me that every morning he would sit with a cup of coffee, looking out his window, and meditating.
But there was something about him. Many, who knew him, commented on his spiritual life. It was palpable. Yet he was a regular guy and saw himself as just another alcoholic. A member of this fellowship.
He often described his desire, as a result of being sober, was to walk in simple human dignity alongside his fellow man. Something, I know, that I should aspire to also.
Anyway, I was thinking about all of this today. It’s important to me I know. My staying sober is always important to me.