Talking to a friend today, it crossed my mind that after a while we tend to ignore alcohol and concentrate exclusively on the steps and change. We concentrate on the “ism” of alcoholism. Not that the thought of alcohol disappears, but its importance. After all, as is often said at meetings, alcohol is only mentioned twice in the steps. The BB even refers to it as being a symbol of our real problems.
Anyway, as we discussed this, it struck me about what Bill talks about in the Doctors Opinion. He says, that the alcoholic must believe that we are as physically abnormal as we are mentally. The importance of the physical aspect of this disease. Even the doctor describes the physical in his description of our illness. He describes, not only the physical symptoms we experience in our drinking, but why we are the way we are.
After all, it’s when we drink, if I were ever so unfortunate to pick up a drink again, I know it will kill me. The minute I would drink it, I would once again be helpless to stop. It would have a complete power over me, as it once had before. My physical reaction to alcohol would be one of craving, whether I wanted to drink or not. I would end up, as before, drinking against my will.
The change I have undergone, as the result of these steps, would vanish in a twinkling of an eye. Life, as I have known it through my years in this program, would be gone and I would once more be back in the life I once led as an active alcoholic.
That’s exactly why I can’t allow myself to ever forget about alcohol itself. After all, it was alcohol and its power over me, which drove me to this program; why I sought sobriety. I had to stop drinking or die and alcoholic death. As important as changing my life style and thinking was, it was alcohol that was the villain in all of this. Change is the insurance in all of this, basically a spiritual change. From non spiritual to spiritual.
However the mental part of this disease, the insanity, has to be there to get me back into a drink. As the BB says, the insanity returns and we drink again. And for us to drink is to die. If I should drink again, it would be just that, plain insanity. Drinking for the alcoholic is insanity. And that’s where the spiritual life comes to the rescue, beginning with surrender and acceptance of a higher power, which could restore me to sanity.
Anyway, after our talk, I had to think about this; the importance of alcohol and insanity. Thank God and this program for sanity and the spiritual awakening, which restored me to sanity and freed me from the hold alcohol had over me.