Today we talked about acceptance and the Fifth Step. It might seem odd that those two thoughts would somehow go together, but not to me. That Fifth Step was in a way the door to acceptance.
For many years, even before I drank and became an alcoholic, I never felt I belonged anywhere. I always felt the odd man out; the guy, who never fit in.
That is until that Fifth Step. It was the result of taking this Step that for the first time I felt a sense of belonging. I was no longer alone. I had truly found a home. That was the feeling I had at my first meeting. That feeling of coming home. But the Fifth Step allowed me to begin to live in the home I had found in AA. A home filled with others just like myself. I was part of at last.
Part of what was wrong with me, as an alcoholic, was that I never could accept myself. The Fifth Step was to reveal to me that I could accept others, who were just like me and my ability to identify with each and everyone, who had also taken this Step. I could now begin the process to accept myself with all my faults. The couple of people I shared this Step with insured this acceptance by sharing with me. That feeling of being uncomfortable with others began to melt away.
Today, as I look back on this healing process, I can better see how all these Steps have played a part in my sobriety and the sobriety of others I know. We are not just a fellowship in my mind, but also a family living in the same house together.
How grateful I am for all that AA has provided me beyond the separation from alcohol. I am always grateful for being freed of the bondage of alcohol, but there is so much more to this program.
Anyway, I was thinking about this, when I got home.