You don’t know that you don’t know. That statement came to me from my old sponsor. How could I ever forget that? Sometimes I will think I know something and then realize that it’s not even close to being true.
I’m not talking about things unrelated to the program. Out there I’m pretty sure I do know a lot. But what I do know has nothing to do with staying sober. And that was exactly what my sponsor was trying to tell me.
I remember an old timer, talking at a convention years ago. He said that the longer he stayed sober the less and less he knew on how the program works or why. I know now exactly what he was saying. I end up, after a lot of thinking, having to say to myself that the best I can do is to know that I’m sober in spite of myself.
I’m so amazed at times, when I run across someone younger and only in the program a few years. I hear them talking and can hardly believe how much they do know. Often I say to myself, I didn’t know that. No kidding.
However, I do know that all I need to know is to not take that next drink. I need to know how important the Steps are in my life. That this is an action program. Just how important prayer and meditation are in my life. I know that this is a spiritual program and that the spiritual life is not a theory. That it has to be lived.
I know that if I am living this way of life, or at least trying, that I will always have the opportunity to carry the AA message that there is a solution to our problem with alcohol to a sick and suffering alcoholic. And that I am the beneficiary each time that I do. I definitely know that.
Anyway, I ran across something today that I thought I knew and ended up having to say to myself that I didn’t. Now why is that a surprise. After all, my sponsor told me that years ago.