We were talking about practicing these principles in all of our affairs today. The last part of the 12th Step. And then afterward I had a conversation with a couple of people.
Their experience, as well as my own, is that, in order to carry out this practice, we have to reach some kind of understanding of those we have to deal with on a regular basis. And that understanding is premised on who these people are.
Once I have an understanding, or the best I can come up with, it becomes much easier to bring what I have learned from this program into action. Often times it amounts to something like that I can understand this person or that one really has problems I was unaware of before. That realization can end so many conflicts.
One of our members brought up a real time example. He said that something happened at his work today. Someone had done something to mess up the operations. He said his first instinct was to find out who was to blame. He said he suddenly realized that was the wrong way to go. He said he came to an understanding that it was far better to fix the problem than to make someone else the problem. Practicing these principles in all of our affairs.
I know for me that in circumstances, such as the one he brought up, my first instinct is to do just what he avoided. Look for someone to blame. But that brings up something I have learned through this program. To take a step back and get control of my emotions and not let them take over my thinking. To use my head instead of my heart. If I want to practice these principles in all of my affairs.
Or, I could do what I used to do; I’d rather be right than happy.
Learning to mind my own business and leave others alone to theirs is always a good start. To keep my mouth shut always helps. To ask for help. When I’m not sure, the rule my sponsor taught me was, when in doubt, don’t. Don’t do what? Anything. Call someone and talk to them instead. Learning to practice means to me that I’m to put this program into action. And that action may be not to take action.
Anyway, I got a lot out of the meeting. It made me stop and think and to take a quick inventory. It’s about sober living and living sober. Sobriety is so much more than not taking a drink.
Although not taking a drink today is key to everything.
Not always perfect, but still trying.